This one is a bit of a ramble. I have a few things I want to say and I very much want to keep writing today.
That’s the theme for today. Press on. That’s also the theme for tomorrow and the day after and the day after… It’s kind of implicit in the phrase. There will be moments, or minutes, or hours, or days, or even years when things seem to push against you, sometimes overwhelmingly so. There have been times in my life when I’ve felt like I was trying to run uphill into the teeth of a class four hurricane or walk through a brick wall. I suspect there may be more of those times ahead as well. It’s the way of things. It’s the very useful and needed way of things.
We never get even slightly better from doing easy things. Hard things make us better. Hard things make us stronger, smarter, faster, tougher, more skilled. When we do things that are too hard to do it makes us ready to do something even harder. We are always capable of more than we think we are. It’s needful to push, to press on, to struggle so that we can stretch and surpass ourselves. We should always try to be better than we are. If I ever get to the point where I think I’m as good as I can be at any given thing, there will be no point to ever doing that thing again.
Don’t cheat. When you cheat, you cheat yourself. You cheat yourself of the opportunity to get better. Even if no other human ever knows, you’ll know. Victory through a shortcut is robbed of its sweetness, of its true triumph.
A word about faith and a confession:
I want to be better than I am. I want a deeper sense of faith and a deeper relationship with God. I don’t always want the things those wants truly imply, though.
I want to want to love others as I do myself.
I want to want to live selflessly and urgently for God.
I want to want to be happy for others happiness without thinking of whether I’m having happiness taken from me.
I want to want to not take satisfaction when those people who have hurt me feel hurt themselves.
I want to want these things. I don’t always actually want them. I fall short. I lapse.
That’s where Grace comes in. Grace means forgiveness for falling short. Everyone knows that, right? Grace is not just about forgiveness though. Grace means gift. Grace is also the gift of power. It’s power given to change; change the world and change myself. It’s power given to accomplish the miraculous. (Miracles are just God’s expressed sense of irony, after all.)
I’m gifted with the power to change things.
But only if I press on.