Breathing

It’s time to take a breath.

I feel like I’m in the eye right now, right in the calm center, surrounded by walls of wind.  I also feel like I’ve been in a long, careful, slow motion dance, trying to stay where I am, but also stay out of the killing edge of the storm.  It’s a tiring thing, always having to anticipate and adjust and shift and change.  I actually like dancing. This dance, however, is to steps I don’t like and to music I didn’t choose.  Anticipation is no more than guessing, really,  and constantly adjusting means I’m rarely where I want to be and never going where I want to go.  Living at the mercy of the storm means I never get to follow the path I should be on.

I remember one of my teachers, years ago, teaching me to breathe.  Now obviously, he didn’t teach me to actually breathe.  He taught me to settle my mind. When things are hectic beyond hectic, I take a breath and focus on that breath. As I inhale I feel the breath fill me from edge to edge like a balloon. As I exhale, I settle.

The wind doesn’t stop.

I can’t control the wind.

I control me.

I focus.

I act rather than react.

I move rather than am moved.

That’s what I need to do.  I need to focus on the path, not the wind.  Then I can move.

Time to take a breath.

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5 thoughts on “Breathing

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